


I Want to Be Loved

by JohnnyMueller



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Femdom, First Time, Futanari, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Love Confessions, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Sex Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 12:58:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19426477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnnyMueller/pseuds/JohnnyMueller
Summary: She lied at first because she didn't know what she felt. But once she realized, it was all or nothing.





	I Want to Be Loved

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LionelParker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LionelParker/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [LionelParker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LionelParker/pseuds/LionelParker) in the [JohnnyMuellersPromptCollection](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/JohnnyMuellersPromptCollection) collection. 



The first time she asked that question, Ritsuka lied, mainly because she didn’t know her truth.

Jeanne Alter would have been an intimidating presence in the first place. Her appearance, her gaze, her attitude; one would have to be a complete fool to treat her just like another person. Adding onto that was the cock that Ritsuka could see smacking against her thighs as she walked around. It wasn’t grand or big in Ritsuka’s mind, but it being out like that as Jeanne Alter did life her own way made her tingly all over. Not like pins and needles, but something deeper, squishy, and clammy in her hands. She’d never felt this way before, had never come across anything that described it. So, when Jeanne Alter asked her for the first time if Ritsuka “was into her body,” she just shook her head, afraid of giving the wrong response. Jeanne Alter frowned for a moment, before looking down at Ritsuka with glistening eyes and walking away.

That was about two weeks ago and Jeanne Alter hadn’t come by to see her since then. Ritsuka wished she did. She didn’t know what exactly she was feeling but she wanted to tell her that what she said back then was a lie. _Would she hate me more,_ she thought. _Would she try to hurt me?_ With the answers not coming, she stayed silent, uncertain and unsure.

She didn’t get to stay silent for long, though. Jeanne Alter came by her while she was eating. Ritsuka noticed a shadow and looked up to see Jeanne’s cock right by her face, its musk filling her nose. It was kinda gross, but it made her wet at the same time. She stood up quickly, looking Jeanne Alter in the face. She was aggressively staring at her (as usual), but there was something more quiet about her now.

“Does my body frighten you?” No lead up, no guarding, just a simple question. _Simple for her, maybe; how the fuck do I answer something like that?_ On the surface, the answer was yes. To be honest, everything about Servants kinda frightened her; you couldn’t be a reasonable person in this scenario without being somewhat traumatized by everything going on around her. But that didn’t seem to be the intent behind Jeanne Alter’s question. It sounded like she was talking about her body specifically. _Is she talking about her being an Alter? Her cock? Her overall appearance? What is she_

Before Ritsuka could say anything, Jeanne Alter let out a bitter laugh, almost sounding like she was choking on something at the same time. “I’m not surprised you acted like this. Everyone has, everyone always did.” She looked out to the horizon, a wistful look forming on her face. “When I was born, my father was told that I should be killed, that I was an ill omen from God. I think they were right, but my father decided not to kill me. The man was too sentimental. He thought that, if even a devil like myself could become a pious follower of God, then any miracle could happen.

“I did become a follower of God, but only because there was nothing on this Earth that wanted me. All the adults just stared at me in public, and I’m sure they said worse in private. The children were the fucking scum of the Earth, though, always calling me ‘it’ and ‘disgusting.’ I was pushed into mud, attacked by dogs, groped, molested, and assaulted… everything that could ever been done to destroy a person’s self-worth they did. I was never loved, not once in my life.”

That was it, the key Ritsuka was looking for. “Love.”

Jeanne Alter glared at her. “What of it?”

“That- That’s what I’m feeling.” Ritsuka looked at Jeanne Alter for the first time, with nothing but wonder in her eyes. “I- I think I love you.”

Jeanne Alter looked at her in shock before twisting her face. “You- You’re just saying that to make me feel better,” she said in a breathy dismay.

“It’s the truth!” Ritsuka didn’t know what shocked her more: that she yelled or that she grabbed Jeanne Alter to make the Servant face her. She gazed at her, her eyes cold yet open. “Wh-When you first asked me if I was into you, I-I lied because I didn’t know what was going on but now I know that I-I-” She was getting so emotional that her throat was tightening and her tears were impeding her speech. She suddenly felt a warmth around her as Jeanne Alter held her close to her own body.

“I- I get what you are trying to say. Let me ask you this: Will you promise to stay by my side for as long as you can?” Ritsuka could only imagine how pathetic she looked as she looked up towards Jeanne Alter, slowly nodding her head. She watched, for the first time, the dark Servant smiling at her, rubbing her head. “I’m glad to hear that.”

As she was speaking, Ritsuka was trying to figure out what exactly was poking her next to her leg. _It’s really hard and kinda sticky…_ She didn’t fully realize it until Jeanne Alter stepped back a little, trying to hide her throbbing cock. “O-Oh…” She was a virgin, so she had no idea what it felt like, but…

“I-I’m sorry about that, I-”

“No, it’s fine, I… I kinda like it.” Her face turned a full red even as she walked forward towards Jeanne Alter. The Servant started looking around before her eyes ended up on a bench near them.

“You- You wanna do it on there?”

It didn’t exactly look comfortable, but it was better than doing it on the ground. “Y-Yeah.”

Ritsuka laid down on it. Like she thought, it wasn’t that comfortable but it was enough so that she didn’t feel awkward as Jeanne Alter laid on top of her. The Servant tried to smile, though it looked a bit predatory in this context.

“I haven’t done it in a while, so I apologize if I’m a bit rough.” Ritsuka simply nodded, ready for whatever may come. Jeanne Alter started by kissing all over Ritsuka’s face and throat, covering her in her scent as much as she could, even biting a few times. It was a bizarre feeling for Ritsuka, but she liked the sensation travelling throughout her body, of being trapped and taken over by the person above her.

Jeanne Alter pulled down Ritsuka’s top to bite and suckle her breasts while she reached below and started to finger her cunt. By this point, Ritsuka had stopped trying to control her body, just riding along with the motions that her lover was giving her. It felt great to give up like this, to accept that someone else would be in control of her and not have to worry about anything besides what she was feeling.

“Are you ready?” Jeanne’s voice had grown steady now, her eyes piercing throughout her body.

“Y-Yes.” With a simple acquiescence, Ritsuka prepared herself for every inch of Jeanne Alter to enter her. It was a little tight at first, but she quickly got used to it as she moaned and writhed like she was on fire.

Then started the thrusting. It was almost like Jeanne Alter was punching her cunt with how quick her cock was coming in and out of her. It felt like Ritsuka was quick as well, with how soon she was at her high point. _It takes me minutes to cum when I’m doing it myself; is she really good or am I that quick?_

Right before she was to reach climax, though, something stopped it. To be slightly gross, it felt like she was constipated in her cunt, unable to do anything other to roll her eyes back in painful ecstasy.

“I-I’m sorry, but I want to do it together. Squeeze my arm if you’re OK with that.” Ritsuka wasn’t exactly up to move any part of her, but she was able to weakly raise her hand and squeeze Jeanne’s wrist. Jeanne Alter kept giving her that soft smile as she fucked Ritsuka’s body harder.

Her whole body was acting like one giant muscle, constantly in tension without any release. Her fingers were twitching erratically, her tongue was flopping out and making a mess everywhere, her thighs were trying to help Jeanne Alter but just found themselves pushed back by her force, and her stomach was squeezing every bit of energy near her cunt, willing to do anything to push out.

Eventually, surprisingly, it happened. Jeanne Alter finally came into her, her cunt and womb being filled with the Servant’s seed. Even if that was an intense outpouring, Ritsuka felt a tsunami pour over her. She tried to yell but nothing came out as her cunt spasmed around Jeanne’s cock, the poor thing almost being crushed in her vice-like grasp. A small amount of their cum came out, but most of it was going to be stuck in her for a while.

Finally, the deluge stopped and she could breathe again, but not before Jeanne Alter lifted her up and held her close, letting her rest in her lap.

“I wanna do this… as long as we can. I’m so glad I met you.”

A fragment of a smile came to Ritsuka’s still-dizzy face. She wished she could respond back, but she just laid her head on her lover’s shoulder.

_I wasn’t expecting this, but being loved has its perks._

**Author's Note:**

> If you want me to write a fic for you, you can put in a request [right here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/JohnnyMuellersPromptCollection).


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